I applied for some jobs and unfortunately was turned down by by a few employers, just as was expected. I have to start looking for new jobs because I will soon be out of work. Although I feel so tired and really want to take a rest for some time, it is obvious I can’t since if I want to stay in this country I must keep trying. I don’t know if one day I will finally find the happiness I have always wanted, but I have no choice but to move forward. I wish I could settle for even a little while, however, there are still so many problems ahead and I have to make efforts everyday. I admired L as he has been keeping pushing himself for years, and he is indeed a brave and ambitious man. As for me, sometimes I am so tired that I want to get out of all this and just live a normal and simple life, yet there is still a long way to go before I can finally live the life I expected. Anyway, I choose this path myself so I should be responsible for myself no matter how.