A little snail

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Today when I walked past the two trees, I noticed all the leaves were gone. It is officially autumn. I miss having L around, cooking, joking and enjoying the simple life everyday. Although life is not easy for us and now he is going through a rough time, we want to be together and we feel happy living here. I want him to be happy and forget all the bad things that have happened, but I can’t seem to do that myself. There is this kind of sadness buried deeply in my heart which can be triggered once in a while. I know I should be strong and I have tried to always hope for the best, however, I sometimes feel sorry for L and really hope something good will happen to him. He has been working so hard for years, it is not fair that he cannot even have a healthy body. I hope, from the bottom of my heart, he will be healthy and happy.


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Be responsible for myself

I applied for some jobs and unfortunately was turned down by by a few employers, just as was expected. I have to start looking for new jobs because I will soon be out of work. Although I feel so tired and really want to take a rest for some time, it is obvious I can’t since if I want to stay in this country I must keep trying. I don’t know if one day I will finally find the happiness I have always wanted, but I have no choice but to move forward. I wish I could settle for even a little while, however, there are still so many problems ahead and I have to make efforts everyday. I admired L as he has been keeping pushing himself for years, and he is indeed a brave and ambitious man. As for me, sometimes I am so tired that I want to get out of all this and just live a normal and simple life, yet there is still a long way to go before I can finally live the life I expected. Anyway, I choose this path myself so I should be responsible for myself no matter how.