A little snail


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What kind of movie this will turn out to be…

I guess the best love is that two people fall in love after knowing each other for a while, and then they go through a lot together, through which their love grow. After that, they recognize the value of each other, enjoy each other’s company and decide to spend the rest of their life together.

After all these years, I finally find the inner peace I have been searching for but it seems a little late because I can’t fix the problem L is facing now. We have gone through so much yet we can’t afford to be happy for long. The whole love story of us is definitely a movie, although I do hope there is a happy ending in the near future, I really don’t know what kind of movie this will turn out to be.

I don’t know if “Always hope for the best” is the right way, because the higher your expectations are, the greater your depression will be when things turn out not well. However, the problem is if you don’t grab the good moments at present and instead worry about the unforeseen future, you will always feel lost and hardly be happy. I am afraid even if I try my best to live in the present and enjoy the current peaceful life, I still can’t feel secure inside, as I am hardly able to handle all those unstable matters.

Sometimes I couldn’t help but wonder, is it me or am I on the wrong track?

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Is getting attached such a bad thing in a relationship?

I had a chat with a store manager a few days ago, and we got to the issue about relationship in the last few minutes. In her opinion, a woman need to be independent totally both financially and emotionally and never should she get attached to or give her heart to a man. I have known her for a while, and consider her as a smart business woman with great social skills, but I never thought she would have such opinions toward love because she has been married for years and it seems like she has a lovely family.

I couldn’t help but wonder, what is the right attitude in a loving relationship?

I admit that I am kind of getting attached to L, but my heart is filled with joy and I feel so happy being with him everyday. It is true that the deeper the love, the more the pain when we have misunderstandings or when some disagreements turn into a fight. And sometimes it is so hurtful that I cry so hard and can feel my heart broken into pieces. Nonetheless, I still don’t think getting detached from each other is a good way to maintain a relationship. I love the feeling of intimacy between us and I believe in true love, thus I think there is an unbreakable link between two people who are in love and consider each other the one, which means your emotions are somehow being connected to your partner.

Although I agree that women should have the ability to live all by themselves and a little distance and space should be given to each other in a relationship, it is not necessary to keep your heart away from the one you love. Perhaps I settled my heart at the first try and have never been hurt deeply, so I am still optimistic about love.


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A lovely day and Continue the bla bla bla…

 

A friend told me that, if I don’t have much expectation about myself here, I will live very comfortable. That is probably true because one can support himself easily and feel satisfied here if he can get a job of any type, as long as he don’t care about promotion. I surely do not want to put too much pressure on myself but I cannot get too comfortable with my current situation and lose ambitions because L is not that kind of person. You have to change and learn to compromise for someone you love in a relationship, and if you want to be happy you must learn how to enjoy this process. Luckily, L and I have gone through a lot and cherish each other, so we both want to make changes in order to live a happy life together.

However, language is really a great barrier when living in another country. I feel the need to improve my English after the first day at work when I listened to my supervisor joking and realized the only thing I could do was smiling, and after 3 weeks I still can’t speak fluently. How will I find a permanent job here when I cannot even speak the native language? Worse still, I don’t know the effective way to improve oral English. I listen to the radio practically everyday and sometimes watch some American TV series, however, it is hard for me to follow now because there are no subtitles. I feel stuck sometimes and wish I were naturally a native speaker…

Winter is coming and I miss L.

“The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.”